Monday, January 19, 2009

Lonnie McAlister's Upcoming Book: 575 You're No Longer Alive

Lonnie McAlister will soon be releasing her new book. It's an uplifting book of poetry...about her miscarriages. It's written entirely in haiku. Lonnie has agreed to provide some excerpts of her book. Here it is...




rollercoasters and
vodka shots- what a summer!
Your only season

gelatinous mass
swirling in the toilet bowl
all my hopes and dreams

prom dress way too tight.
dumpster behind the school gym.
can't return these shoes

we bought a prius
dark, empty nursery
no baby on board

we painted your room
all gender neutral colors
now my heart is black

dear baby jesus,
where do little ones lost go?
fingers crossed: heaven

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Saturday, April 26, 2008

It Begins With a Trip

All good blogs begin with a trip.

Therefore I, Richie Bartholomew Cross the 8th, have taken it upon myself to take a trip to Europe in order to heal the relations between our country and the rest of the world. And also to drink.

It’s a big task, I know. Many Europeans dislike Americans - especially the North American ones. That’s why I, upon my own accord and with my own money, will be traveling there to lay the seeds of change.

I will begin my trip in London, the birthplace of Jesus. It is there I will begin my journey of healing. My first goal is to learn their twisted monetary system. Apparently they refuse to recognize our coin and dollar but gladly accept our debit cards. I smell some corporate corruption.

Next I will journey into a local eatery to drink beer and eat food. I can only hope the primitive Londoners have a TGI Fridays or at least a Bennigan’s so I can feel like I’m back home in America.

The next leg of my trip of world domination, I mean healing, will take me to Amsterdam. I’ll be taking a train that goes really fast and has indoor bathroom facilities. I plan on being “that guy” that goes awkwardly from one train car to the next, shouting “America Rules” with a buzz fueled by my own audacity.

An aside:
After performing a word search online I learned that Amsterdam had some trouble with Nazis a few years ago. Apparently these Nazis disliked the Amsterdamians and were German. I hope this doesn’t ruin my trip. A member of my gang wants to go the Anne Frank museum and I said "you mean, the Anne Buzzkilll museum?" Actually, that never happened.

Anyway, none of this trip is planned because I hate to be tied down. So keep checking back to see what I do. I’ll be stopping into coffee shops and Internet CafĂ©’s but mostly coffee shops to post pictures and thoughts along my journey. You'll also get to meet my companions and the wacky Europeans we'll be forced to interact with.

Until then, mind the gap and cheerio.